Top 10 things to do when having your braces tightened^(tm)

Contents

Top 10 list for May

10. Explain that you are a little nauseous

    Groan that you are not feeling well every time they put your hands in your mouth

9. Trade retainers or facebows with one of your friends

   Now why doesn't this fit?

8. Pay someone in your class to go for you

   He/she does not have to look anything like you

7. Eat lots of onions before you go

   DO NOT use a breathmint after eating the onions

6. Tell the orthodontist's assistant that you have a crush on her.

   So what if she is a few years older than you

5. See if you can make your rubber bands shoot out when you open your mouth.

   Your orthodontists' glasses should be a good target to shoot at

4. Tell the orthodontist how uncomfortable his chair is.

   Move to a more comfortable position every 30 seconds

3. Wear a set of "dracula teeth" to your appointment instead of your retainer.

   Tell them "I do not know how this could have happened, but last week my teeth shifted"

2. Paint pictures of little bugs onto your braces

   Oh that was just something I ate

1. Gag

Top 10 list for April

10. Start a rubber band fight in the waiting room

9. Erase headgear from your treatment card

   Add it to someone elses card instead

8. See how many times you can burp while the assistant is working on your mouth.

7. Ask to be wired to the pretty girl you sat next to in the waiting room

   If you write it on your treatment card (chart) the orthodontist's assistant may do it!

6. Carve your initials into the armrest of the dentist's chair.

   The Orthodontist has lots of tools that you can use to make the carving

5. Coat your braces with chewing gum or fudge before coming to the appointment.

   Be sure it is the extra sticky kind

4. Ask if your mononucleosis is contagious.

   They do not call it kissing disease for nothing

3. Trade names/appointments with the person next to you in the waiting room.

   Are you sure you are Melissa Smith? You look like a boy.

2. Tell the orthodontist that you will be playing dracula in the school play, and insist that he/she adjust your teeth accordingly.

   Dracula had two cuspids. Ask the orthodontist if he can do that,

1. Yell "How Dare You Touch Me There"

Top 10 list for Feb

10. Ask 'will it hurt?', 'will it hurt?', 'will it hurt?', 'will it hurt?', 'will it hurt?' ... 100 times

9. See how far you can spit the little colored ligature ties.

   Hitting the orthodontist's assistant counts double

8. Explain the green and red glob on your archwires.

   Well, three weeks ago and I was feeling sick ...

7. Send your little sister instead.

   Maybe they will not notice if you wrap her face like a mummy.

6. Hold the orthodontist's chair so tight that the armrests come off.

   They do not make em like they used to

5. Ask the orthodontist's assistant out on a date.
   

   That should really annoy her

4. See how much noise you can make, blowing out through your nose.
   

   Do it every time the orthodontist's assistant puts her hand in your mouth.

3. Use the orthodontist's mirror to examine the hairs in your nose.
   

   Wasn't the mirror supposed to be sterile?

2. Steal the orthodontist's tools

   Now where did I put that twirl-on

1. Scream

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